


Inconclusive data

by 221beester



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Blushing, Drunk Texting, First Kiss, Grumpy John, Hangover, M/M, Oneshot, Sherlock gets hammered
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-24
Updated: 2014-03-24
Packaged: 2018-01-16 22:09:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1363474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/221beester/pseuds/221beester
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sherlock gets drunk beyond belief resulting in tickle fights, drunken kisses the hangover next morning.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Inconclusive data

JOooooohn –SH

What Sherlock? JW

I managed to drink an entire bottle at Graham's party, now I'm pissed –SH

Who's Graham? JW

Y'know Graham Lestrade, the grey haired badger who gives me cases. –SH

Sherlock, how many times do I have to tell you his name his Greg? JW

Wait, what do you mean you drank an entire bottle? JW

It still starts with G, I was closer! I know, I was surprised myself ;) Please pick me up? –SH

Yes, fine. I'll be there in a minute. JW

Why the hell is there a winky face in your last text? JW

Thank yooooou jawn <3 Someone on forensics showed me emoticons: D aren't they great? –SH

Yes...Great. But again, he winky face? And the heart? JW

SOrry :( I thought it was cool -SH

Sherlock, you're too drunk to be texting right now. You might embarrass yourself. JW

I embrace the embarrassment. I lived with mycroft for 17 years XD -SH

I'm saying you might send someone something you will regret later. JW

ok... but sHOULD I prank call mycroft? PLEEEEEASE -SH

No. You shouldn't call anyone either. JW

;--; hurry up then hedgehog man -SH

Hedgehog man? JW

Yes, you look like a hedgehog. Anyway the point of that was to hurry up! -SH

I do not look like a hedgehog. JW

yEAH YOU DO -SH

No. JW

;) Is someone a little grumpy hedgehog? -SH

I'M NOT A HEDGEHOG! JW

I know but you look like one. Its rather adorable -SH

I do not look like one either! JW

Wait...it's what? JW

doooo. ADORABLE JAWN. You might need to hurry up, I need a pee –SH

Well then find a loo and pee. JW

But they’re PUBLIC ONES ;_: do you KNOW how grim they are? I'd rather burn in ACID -SH

Sherlock, go use the loo. It's not like you have to touch anything. JW

-.- definitely a grumpy hedgehog. where are you now? –SH

Down the street. I'll be there in a minute. JW

Gooood. I've been to the loo so no worries there -SH

I wasn't really worried. JW

:( HEARTLESS HEDGEHOG –SH

Not a hedgehog. JW

not my division ;) -SH

What are you talking about? JW

i DONT KNOW ANYMORE SPEED WALK HERE -SH

I'm in a cab, Sherlock. JW

:( do you know where I am or need address? -SH

I know where you are. I was invited too. JW

WHY DIDNT YOU COME. We could have been homies. HOLMIES! -SH

I had a date. Remember? We talked about this. JW

OMG I didnt make you leave did I :O -SH

Yes, you did. JW

awwwwwwww tell carol I'm sorry -SH

Her name wasn't Carol. JW

Susan? Jane? -SH

or was it a he? -SH

Why would it be a he? I'M NOT GAY! JW

I thought you were bi! -SH

No. I am straight... JW

Keep telling yourself that while you check out graham. GREG. ITS GREG -SH

Wow. I'm impressed. JW

But still VERY STRAIGHT. I have never checked out Greg. Ever. JW

Never ever? ;) -SH

Never ever. JW

lol jawn -SH

Stop being a child. I'm outside. JW

yay! I'm just coming down the stairs -SH

Good. Hurry up. JW

Sherlock emerged from the house, stumbling over a passed out Anderson. "Joohn! Thank youuuu!"

John rolled his eyes. "Get in the cab."

Sherlock grinned and fell into the cab. "Yes sir." He giggled.

"Why are you calling me sir?" John asked, following him into the cab.

Sherlock giggled but said nothing, finding interest in the window of the cab. He glanced at John's unamused face and lost it.

"What now, Sherlock?" John asked, exasperated.

Sherlock hissed out through his laughter, "You really do look like a grumpy hedgehog!" Before clutching his sides.

John sighed and pulled out his phone. Within a minute, he had completed a Google search for "grumpy hedgehogs" and showed Sherlock the picture. "This is a grumpy hedgehog. Is that what I look like to you?"

Sherlock pointed and wheezed out a yes, collapsing into the corner of the cab. "Oh my god, yes!"

John rolled his eyes and typed in 'drunk otter'. "Well then this is what you look like."

Sherlock was laughing so hard that he just looked at John and squeaking noises were coming out of his mouth. He waved at John's phone with his hand. "Put it away before I die of laughing!"

John chuckled a little at Sherlock's reaction. "You really are drunk, aren't you?"

Sherlock calmed down a bit and nodded, a grin still plastered to his face. He sighed and straightened his face out in an attempt to get rid of the aching. "My face hurts now..." He moaned.

"I don't doubt it. You don't laugh that hard nearly ever."

Sherlock leant his head against the window and closed his eyes. "Yeah, but we all need a good laugh." He smiled.

"Yes we do," John smiled.

Sherlock felt himself getting tired. "If I fall asleep, poke me. Hard." He giggled. "Hard."

"What? What's so funny about the word 'hard?'"

Sherlock opened one eye to peek at him and smirked.

John frowned a little. "What?"

Sherlock sighed, and returned to face the window with both eyes shut. "I dunno. Are we there yet?"

"Just a bit," John said. He reached over and poked Sherlock in the side.

Sherlock squirmed and made a noise of annoyance. " 'M not asleep, I'm just resting my eyes..."

"Oh," John said with a smirk. "I thought you were asleep." He poked him again.

Sherlock grinned and squirmed again. "No! Bad Jawn..." He swatted his hand away and pulled his coat tighter.

John laughed and poked again, figuring Sherlock wouldn't remember any of this in the morning.

Sherlock moaned and giggled. "No, I'm ticklish, no!"

"You're ticklish?" John laughed loudly. He scooted closer to Sherlock. "Oh really?"

Sherlock giggled again. "No no no no no! Don't you dare, John!" He poked John back but ended up prodding his ear. He opened his eyes again and aimed for his arm.

John chuckled and poked Sherlock in the stomach.

Sherlock returned the poke and gave him a playful slap on the bad. "No! Jawwn!"

The cab stopped then and John looked up. "We're home."

Sherlock cheered and clambered out of the cab. "You'll have to pay, G-Greg made me pay for the drinks."

John rolled his eyes and paid the cabbie. "Now get inside."

Sherlock grinned widely and felt around for his key, before fishing it out. He just about opened the door before tripping over the step.

John caught him around the waist. "Alright, up we go."

Sherlock raised his eyebrows and let himself flop into John. "Wey-hey!" He winked, giggling.

"What? I'm keeping you from breaking a leg falling down these stairs."

Sherlock raised his hands. "Whatever you say." He chuckled. He stumbled up the stairs with John and crashed into the flat.

John walked him over to the couch. "There you go," he said, setting the drunken man down.

Sherlock slouched down into the sofa and hummed at the comfort. "C'n you turn the lights off, 's too bright." He stuck his face in the pillow and sighed.

John turned off the lights, but turned the hall light on.

"Jawwwwn?" He drawled out, his voice muffled by the pillow.

John walked back over. "What is it, my little otter?"

Sherlock smirked and giggled into the pillow, before turning his face to see John. "'S too hot..."

"Then take off your coat," John said with a fond smile.

"But effort..." He complained. He sat himself up slowly and fumbled at the sleeves.

"I'm not going to undress you, Sherlock." John said with a laugh.

Sherlock raised his eyebrows. "Didn't ask you to. Just this bloody coat. It's too swishy, that's the problem. I feel like batman though so it's worth it..."

John sighed. "Fine, let me see it." He took the sleeves of Sherlock's coat and pulled it off. "Better?"

Sherlock moaned in relief. "Oh my god, yeah. 'ts like being in an oven. An oven, Jawwn!" He slid back down the sofa and settled on the pillow, hugging it.

John cleared his throat and went to the kitchen. "I'm going to make you some tea."

Sherlock groaned but waved a hand. "Go for it." He twisted into a ball and buried his head in his arms.

John came back a few minutes later with two cups of tea. "Here you are."

Sherlock reached up and grabbed the cup, laying in on his chest and closing his eyes. "Ta."

"Sit up and drink it," John instructed.

Sherlock grumbled about moving but sat up and took a sip. Just the way he liked it. He smiled and took another.

John smiled. "Thank you."

Sherlock smiled and shuffled along a bit for John to sit down. "Sit, you look like a lonely hedgehog now."

John rolled his eyes, but sat down. "How do you even know what that looks like?"

"I used to live in Sussex, we had a huge garden with loads of hedgehogs. Mycroft hated them, that's why I loved them." He giggled.

"Ah. Well I suppose that makes sense."

"What about you 'n' Harry?" He said, bumping into John's arm as he swayed a bit.

"We never really had any pets. A cat once, but she killed it."

Sherlock's eyes widened and he giggled, before realising he was serious and swallowed down his laughter. "Um... How?"

"She ran over it when she was drunk one night." John shrugged looking down. "I don't really talk about it much."

Sherlock stuck out his lower lip and put an arm around John. "M sorry, Jawn."

John was about to scoot away from Sherlock, but then the strong smell of alcohol made him remember it wouldn't matter to Sherlock if he didn't. So he rested his head on Sherlock's shoulder. "Doesn't matter, it was decades ago."

Sherlock smiled at John's head and leant his own on top. "But I made you sad. I never wanna make you sad, Jawwn. Tell me if it's a bit not good."

John laughed. "That was from our first case, how do you still remember that?"

Sherlock giggled. "Yeah, and when you shot the cabbie for me. He smelt bad. Why did you shoot him?" He turned around to John, still with his arm around him.

"Because he was trying to make you kill yourself. And I didn't want you die. I hadn't know you long enough. Although, I didn't want you to kill yourself last time either..."

Sherlock's face dropped and he put his other arm around him, pulling him into a proper hug. "M sorry. I didn't wanna go either but he was gonna hurt you..." He buried his head in John's neck and sighed.

John returned the hug. "I know. I know."

Sherlock pulled back and looked into John's eyes. "Don't be sad, I'm back now." He smiled weakly.

"Yes you are, thank god." John smiled up at him.

"Personally I thank Mycroft, the fat old git, but whatever works for you." He smirked, trying to lighten the mood.

"Oh, shut up." John smiled.

"Never." He grinned, poking John in the stomach lightly.

John poked Sherlock back.

Sherlock squirmed and laughed, using his whole hand to tickle him.

John laughed, but he wasn't nearly as ticklish as Sherlock.

Sherlock's face hardened in determination to make John wriggle. He brought both his hands round to the front and avoided the swatting arms.

John squirmed a bit, but continued to tickle Sherlock's sides.

Sherlock gasped out "This is unfair! I demand you become ticklish!" He giggled, choosing to defend his own body than attack John's.

"Never!" John said, voice sounding rather victorious.

Sherlock groaned. "Why do I have to be ticklish? When will this ever be useful?" He barked out as John hit a sensitive spot wriggling off of the sofa.

John fell off the sofa with him and practically landed on top of Sherlock.

Sherlock giggled and looked John in the eye. His eyes flickered down to his lips before travelling slowly back up. "Jawn..."

John frowned a little as he saw Sherlock's eyes move. "Um...Sherlock?"

Sherlock took this as a sign to move away and mumbled under his breath. "Sorry..."

John sat up on the couch again quickly, feeling a bit awkward. "On a scale of buzzed to you won’t remember anything tomorrow, how drunk are you?"

Sherlock hummed in thought. "I rarely remember stuff, and if I do it's the funny things. Why?"

John took a deep breath and closed his eyes, leaning in to place a very light, very brief kiss on Sherlock's lips.

Sherlock was surprised, but closed his eyes and returned it. He made a small whine when John pulled away and pulled him back down for more.

John pulled back, not allowing another kiss. "No, Sherlock."

Sherlock pouted. "But it's nice."

"But you're drunk and I'm not gay. I'm not really sure who is taking advantage of who."

Sherlock waved his hand in dismissal. "But we both enjoy it. And if you're not gay, why'd you kiss me?" He giggled.

"To see how it felt." John admitted. "And because I knew you wanted me too."

"But you're single, and it was good! Granted yes I'm drunk and I do, but that means you want me just a little bit back." He sat , looking up at John off of the floor.

John sighed. "How about this, tomorrow morning, if you still remember this, and still want to try again, I'll kiss you again. Deal?"

Sherlock grinned. "Sounds good to me." He made a mental note in his Mind Palace to definitely not forget.

John nodded a little, standing. "But for now, off to bed."

Sherlock groaned as he stood up and clicked his back into place. He stretched and shuffled past John. "Good night, Jawn."

"Goodnight Sherlock." John watched him walk off, then went to his own room.

Sherlock plonked onto his bed with an "Oomph!" He got undressed sloppily and climbed into bed. He certainly had a lot to think about tonight.

John changed, trying to think of anything but the kiss. He crawled into his bed and pulled the covers up. 

Sherlock sighed and whispered into the silence, "I love you.”

John rolled over and fell asleep quickly.

Sherlock closed his eyes and fell into a deep sleep, hoping he would remember and receive another kiss in the morning.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

The next morning, John woke up and stretched. He looked around his room, feeling like something was wrong when he remembered. Today was the day he might get to – no, have to, he told himself- kiss Sherlock again.

Sherlock woke up and groaned at the pounding head ache he had. He picked up his sheet and shuffled into the kitchen to get some aspirin.

John figured there was only so much he could do before he would have to go down stairs. After dressing again, he went to the living room.

Sherlock took the pill and turned to see John. "Morning." He said quietly. He still hadn't remembered, the fierce throbbing in his head not yet leaving.

"Morning," John said slowly. "Feeling alright?"

Sherlock shook his head slowly. "Bloody Anderson must have done something to the wine, my head is killing me." He rubbed it with his free hand, clutching to the sheet.

While Sherlock's eyes were covered by his hand, John looked him up and down. Bloody git. He was probably wearing that to make it easier to get John in bed.

Sherlock winced at the light and moved over to shut the blinds. He walked over to sit on the sofa and curled up, before hesitating. He remembered.

John watched him for a moment, and then turned to sit in his chair.

Sherlock sat up slowly and pulled the sheet further around himself. "John, last night, um, did we....?" He trailed off.

John raised an eyebrow. Sherlock seemed unsure. "Did we what?" He asked, sounding a bit confused.

Sherlock blushed. "Never mind, I thought we, um, kissed." He looked away. "Sorry."

John's eyes grew wide, and he cleared his throat a little. "Um...Sherlock? You do know that I'm not gay, right?"

Sherlock's blush deepened and he scratched the back of his head. "Yeah, I just, remember something. Or it was a strange dream..."

"You do have some pretty strange dreams," John commented.

Sherlock nodded and shrugged. "I suppose." He stood up and walked to the entrance of his room. "Well, I'll be back in a second."

"Alright," John said, grabbing the paper Mrs. Hudson must have brought up.

Sherlock sat down on his bed. He definitely kissed John Watson. Or rather John Watson kissed him. He quickly dressed and re-emerged, deciding to leave it. John clearly wasn't comfortable with it.

John looked over at Sherlock. "Everything alright?"

Sherlock looked at him, "Yeah, yeah, just thinking." He sat down in his chair and went into his thinking position.

"What about?" John asked with a smile.

Sherlock took the opportunity. "I think you know exactly what about." He winked. "I wasn't imagining things, and I never remember dreams, therefore last night did happen." He smirked.

"Of course last night happened. How would you explain it being today if it hadn't."

Sherlock scowled at John. "Don't be stupid with me John. We both know what I'm talking about." He snapped. His voice softened when he spoke, "Why?"

"Why what?" John asked, this time an honest question. "Why did I kiss you, or why did I deny it?"

Sherlock shrugged. "Both really. I enjoyed it, even if I was drunk, you seemed to enjoy it."

"I kissed you because I've always wanted to know how it felt, and I denied it because I enjoyed it."

Sherlock smiled slightly. "Well in that case, I have no worries about it, and if you wish to repeat it, I wouldn't hold you back." He looked at him in the eye.

"Well, I did promise I would kiss you again if you remembered. And look at that, you did."

Sherlock grinned and stood up. "Then I believe you owe me a kiss, Dr Watson." He walked over to him.

John smiled and kissed him lightly.

Sherlock returned it and closed his eyes. "That was nice, but I think we need to try it again." He grinned.

"And why's that?" John asked with a grin.

He smiled as he kissed John again, this time knowing that his feelings were returned, murmuring,  
"Inconclusive data..."

**Author's Note:**

> Oneshot little fic I did on omegle and finished when the other person left (you were great fun person!)  
> Ermegerd I swored *horror gasp* I'm becoming a real teenager!


End file.
